Pachelbel, Canon, like you've never heard before!

Hey Guys, this boy is AMAZING! Thanks to Crim for the link!

All of them Scientologists!

I was actually disheartened looking through NBC's slide show of famous Scieno's, former and active members, when Domingo Jr. and Punky Brewster were pictured!

Domingo Jr? Surely he has more sense than that! Ok, ok, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he was more like Jerry Seinfeld and Brad Pitt.. had wandered aimlessly one day into the Celeb Center in Hollyweird, CA, took the Oxford (I don't think OXFORD has anything to do with it) Personality test, realized what a crock the whole scene was and bolted out and away as fast as his little tenor legs would carry him. But alas, that is not the case: Here's what really happened. Oh, jr! What has become of you?!

And Punky! I guess those few years you enjoyed your height of fame you became the cliched child star. Maybe being forced to wear different colored sneakers, while young, will do that to a person.

Click here to view the utter perturbance!

Thanks to Defamer for the tip!

Invoking Xenu NEVER looked so good!

Catch the pills to keep the brainwashed Kate from screaming and tormenting her newborn's 'reactive' mind! Credit: Break.com

I have to admit, I haven't even gotten past LEVEL TWO! Please post your scores in the comments section.. would be great to see who kicks ass at this game!

Question of the day: Who Is XENU?

Design your own South Park Character!

What you've all been waiting for, an interactive design your own Cartman! CLICK HERE TO BEGIN! Yes I had a GREAT time with this, and so will you!

Even auf Deutsch for my German friends.

I've created my very own Star Wars Montage. It's easy and great fun.

Chocolate and Math make strange bedfellows

Surely, by this point, everyone around the world has received this email. It's fun and actually works. I'm sure it has NOTHING to do with the fact Easter (the biggest candy holiday next to Halloween) is upon us. SURELY NOT! But read on.. do the math, if you haven't yet. I've copied and pasted an email, below the chocolate formula, I wrote earlier to a friend of mine who had also enjoyed the 'Funded by Hershey' age test. The chocolate math email does bring questions to one's mind!

THE FORMULA

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756 .... If you haven't, add 1755.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how! many times you want to have chocolate each week). The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!) THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2006) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS.

Who the heck wrote the formula? How'd the brilliant mathematician come up with this?

Some bored mathy type guy (or girl, but most likely a dude cuz studies show they're better in math than us girly low lifes) was just sitting under blaring, flourescent lights, listening to the flies and fans buzzing away, in some ambiguous college basement room, when all of a sudden.. BING! The magic chocolate combination hits him and he begins to furiously write out his formula, using example after example to make sure it actually works.. then VOILA! After all the tests...internet chat room and email fodder for days!

Or maybe it's one of those enslaved mathematicians, sitting in a laboratory, different recipes and flavors of chocolate bubbling about in beakers, trying desperately to find a way (his bosses said he'd better or else!) to promote chocolate during this very unseasonal for chocolate EASTER HOLIDAY! Gotta boost those sales! The Easter Bunny is one busy guy, gotta have the parents chip in a little bit! Let's not forget all the women trying to lose weight who turn their noses up at such confectionary delight only to need/crave it before/during their period. "Trying to stave off chocolate cravings? Well here's something that'll remind you (in a very clever, manipulating way) to want it and eat it all the time!" So, a clever little brain teaser or an underlying, manipulative ploy to get people to eat more chocolate? YOU BE THE JUDGE!

YouTube kow-towing to FOX

A few posts ago I wrote about the Simpsons movie coming out in 2007. As I have a habit of routinely checking my YouTube embedded players I noticed the deadly screen of white. That usually means YouTube is not responding or the video in question has been removed. In the case of the Simpsons teaser trailer, it's the latter. I've actually had to change the link no less than four times already. Everytime it was the same story: Video removed due to Copyright Infringement. I suppose that's all part of using outside hosting sources. I'm trying to get the teaser downloaded, saved and compressed to add here. But until then, I offer, in lieu of this very tasteless action, some guy playing the Simpsons theme on acoustic guitar. Danny would be proud! Enjoy!

Flight 93 Tapes uncover last details

It's sad, when you think these people fought to keep their plane from hitting yet another public target. The flight tapes revealed passengers tried their damndest to take over the hijackers, and with valiant execution, admittedly, did just that. Unfortunately, by that time the plane was in the hands of terrorists and the passengers were flung back and forth as the hijackers maneuvered the plane to shimmy from side to side. I should hope these tapes will give tin-hatters something to chew on other than their stock piled Reynolds Wrap. This indeed is the proof we all needed. The American Gov't did not shoot the plane down, as previously imagined. The plane was not overtaken by American covert field operatives.

It is strictly black and white. Chilling, terrifying, undoubtedly fearsome but definitely not planned by the American Gov't.

If you need further proof, read the article. It's hard to read, I can't imagine actually having to sit in the courtroom and listen to their actual voices. The fear, the hope, the desire to protect our country, in the hands of citizens.

Save Homer! Petition, NOW ACTIVATED

The Simpsons are going to end very soon.. Not if we can help it! Sign the Save Homer! Petition. Let everyone know how much YOU care about the Simpsons. Keep our favorite TV family alive and kicking for many years to come!

Never Fear, Jack Bauer is here! For at least another 3 seasons!

Wow! Anyone else here thoroughly obsessed with 24 as my husband and I are? Well good news for all you Bauer geeks.. we'll get our 24 fix for at least another three years! Variety Reports.

Suffice it to say, since Kiefer has been signed as Jack for three more years, that means Jack ain't gonna kick the bucket any time soon. As Manny likes to say (in full vodka-Russian-esque-accent) "He has more lives than Kitty-Kat!"

And, dear readers (all two of you) Kiefer will become Executive Producer. A FULL bump up from his Co-Executive title he is currently enjoying. WAY TO GO KIEFER! Best of luck to you.. just watch out for those Christmas Trees!

I bet he can afford as many V-neck, white t-shirts as he'd like now with the eight figures knocking on his door.

Tommy Cruise Phalli-cilitating his queen

I really promised myself not to blog about these nitwits, but I just can't get this picture out of my mind. Tom is soo determined to keep Katie 'Incubator' Holmes quiet he's actually going to buy an adult sized pacifier for her to chew on during labor. It won't cut out her cries of agony as the Scieno Spawn makes it's way out to crazy land, all Tommy can hope for is a blurp of agony, somewhwat muffled, now and again.

You know, Tom, you could save yourself some dough. Just go to the nearest Rave, find one of those glitter girls bowing down to the pounding speaker gods, slip her a few handfuls of smilys, grab the paci hanging 'round her neck like some offering to said speaker gods and run like hell for the nearest exit. You wouldn't want a bunch of hyped up ravers after you.

But I guess, if it were up to me, I'd rather have ravers chasing me down than creepy alien loving Scieno's ANY DAY!

Anyway, the Babifying of Kate continues. Didn't think Tom was into that sort of thing, but nothing surprises me these days.

If you're sick like me and want to know MORE(!) read the item!

The Bloggerverse, as we know it, is collapsing in on itself!..YouTube NOT RESPONDING!

Hey all, it's come to my attention via Iris (shout out..THANKS!) that YouTube is updating and perfecting their technical data. Hmm, hope they won't be out too long. My site looks really lame with all these white windows strewn all over the place. Get it together YOUTUBE, I NEED YOU!

But what really pisses me off about this is I told Iris to restart her computer, thinking it was something on her end when the video wouldn't show. I didn't even think to check it until after she came back noting it was not only the Vader clip she couldn't see but all the others as well. Tut mir Leid to you, Iris and to all your downloads you had going at that time!

So for now I'm gonna leave these gaping, pupiless, square eyes up and hopefully YouTube will resolve their technical issues lickity-f'in-split. The white blocks add an air of creepiness, doncha think?

UPDATE: YouTube is back up and operating! You can again enjoy third rate music videos starring your favorite Harry Potter characters, Star Wars knock offs and other interesting tid bits!

The Vader of the Opera

Really, this speaks for itself...

Simpsons Theatrical Experience

All those who saw Ice Age 2: The Meltdown this weekend were treated to a 29 second teaser trailer announcing to the world The Simpson's Movie will be out July 27, 2007 !

As exciting as the news is, it's also a little disappointing considering the show ends it's long television run once the movie hits the theaters. Only a few more left with our TV beloved!

Jeopardy, can you cut it?

Hey all.. The news is out! If you've always had a yearning to challenge Alex, but couldn't make it to Burbank for the testing, the internet has answered your prayers! You can now take the online Jeopardy test! Many hopeful starry eyed contestant wannabes are foaming at the mouth with this one! Mabye, Just Maybe EVEN you'll be able to sign your name in your very own fantastical scrawl across the legendary blue fronted podium! (Hence all the Kens to the left).

You can only take the test once, so make sure you've eaten your brain food for breakfast and are wearing your good luck Test Cap you've had since grade school.

As it is an online test many of you will find it quite easy and not so much a question of ethics to merely surf the web for unknown answers. But when you've scored 100 per cent, remember, Alex's steely gray eyes will be able to read you a mile away. You'll be shaking so badly you won't even remember to state the answer as a question.


"Ummm, Alex, I'll take stupid ignoramics for 800 Dollars, please."

"The Answer: These people have gotten up in front of millions of American viewers, merely making asses of themselves."

"Who are the CHEATERS on the Online Jeopardy Test, Alex?"

"Correct! You have found our daily double.. congratulations."

Can't tell everyone you're crazy? Say it in a sign!

You know, this is old news by now. Initially I wasn't going to post on such idiocy, but I heard stories of Yahoo! News playing April fool's jokes on their readers saying TomKat had delivered twins, a boy and a girl. So I figured I can't let this stand any longer. Must. Take. Shot.

First off, there was that horrible fake love fest going on. Exuberant, outward, egregious displays of public affection. We all watched in horror and swallowed our bile as the strangest couple EVER to grace Hollyweird (and I mean, even stranger than Elvis' freak daughter and that black-white-no face-lving in Bahrain-dressing like a woman now- dude kissing live on MTV) flitted about on our TV and computer screens with such obvious bad acting.

Then it got worse. News spread and sure enough Kate (her new mantra) was 'confirmed' carrying (the only second known immaculate conception, in ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY) spawn of plastic man, Tom.

NOW! We see she is ready to pop, whether it's padding attached with duct tape or an actual living breathing bundle in there, we know not, what we do know is to help her through this sacrificial moment of actually selling her soul to the Devil, himself: Mr. L Ron Hubbard and his henchmen, TC and David "I can't drink that glass of water unless it was covered in plastic before the staff set it down" Miscavige.. she will use signs explaining in GREAT detail how to have her baby the quiet way.. the unnatural, freakish non-compliant to the woman's need way: The Scientology Silent Birth. The woman laboring (in this case, having the duct tape ripped off her back in order to remove said pillow) cannont, must not and WILL NOT speak, no one will speak to her and the baby will be promptly put into a soft, warm blanket NAKED and kept for a day without ANY human contact. Great way to start out your life, eh? It could have been worse. Ol' Elron could've made sure a burlap bag was in place of the soft, warm blanket or perhaps some nice tin foil?

The signs say it all. If you're crazy, you should always keep signs about just to let neighbors, paparazzi or whoever else may be stalking you to stand, very far, AT BAY. Thanks to TomKat for their generosity. Warning the world so blatantly of their schizophrenic-like behavior is always good for us, NEVER good for them. How Comforting! I feel like a naked newborn, in a soft, warm blanket!

Why Dusty was right!

Well, I'd take the Son of a Preacher Man over his Daddy, ANY DAY! And here's yet another reason why!

If church for you normal folk ain't stressful enough.. try being married to the Pastor, himself!

Maybe she should've consulted her hubby's favorite book before grabbing the shotgun. Or listened to at least ONE of his sermons during Sunday service. Maybe she wouldn't have to be getting used to looking at bars from the inside of a cell for the rest of her life. Or maybe she should've paid attention to Dusty Springfield, back in the day.. In either case, it seems, yet again, the nation is gripped with a spiralling downturn in morality from Minister's Wives.. or could it be, people need yet another poor excuse for the untimely death of another human being? You be the judge, or really, God will.

So here's the excuse: Pastor's Wives have more stress and pressure than wives of non-pastors. Isn't that the dumbest thing you've ever heard? Sorry, all you Mrs. Church's out there, that is an incredibly lame argument. I'm sure having your pick betweent the new Volvo Wagon and a high end SUV may seem stressful, surely the pressure's on when those slick dealers slither your way from their offices. But is that really pressure? How hard is it to remain pious, loving, giving, gracious ... everything you should normally be? Women watching their children die from starvation and dysentery have it bad. You have to sit at the FRONT of the church and look up into your adoring husband's face, don't gossip and believe in God. HARD! Wow.. I'd NEVER survive.

Anyway, Miss Mary Winkler, you definitely should've taken a lesson from the Fonze.. he could have shown you how to cool it.