Can't tell everyone you're crazy? Say it in a sign!

You know, this is old news by now. Initially I wasn't going to post on such idiocy, but I heard stories of Yahoo! News playing April fool's jokes on their readers saying TomKat had delivered twins, a boy and a girl. So I figured I can't let this stand any longer. Must. Take. Shot.

First off, there was that horrible fake love fest going on. Exuberant, outward, egregious displays of public affection. We all watched in horror and swallowed our bile as the strangest couple EVER to grace Hollyweird (and I mean, even stranger than Elvis' freak daughter and that black-white-no face-lving in Bahrain-dressing like a woman now- dude kissing live on MTV) flitted about on our TV and computer screens with such obvious bad acting.

Then it got worse. News spread and sure enough Kate (her new mantra) was 'confirmed' carrying (the only second known immaculate conception, in ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY) spawn of plastic man, Tom.

NOW! We see she is ready to pop, whether it's padding attached with duct tape or an actual living breathing bundle in there, we know not, what we do know is to help her through this sacrificial moment of actually selling her soul to the Devil, himself: Mr. L Ron Hubbard and his henchmen, TC and David "I can't drink that glass of water unless it was covered in plastic before the staff set it down" Miscavige.. she will use signs explaining in GREAT detail how to have her baby the quiet way.. the unnatural, freakish non-compliant to the woman's need way: The Scientology Silent Birth. The woman laboring (in this case, having the duct tape ripped off her back in order to remove said pillow) cannont, must not and WILL NOT speak, no one will speak to her and the baby will be promptly put into a soft, warm blanket NAKED and kept for a day without ANY human contact. Great way to start out your life, eh? It could have been worse. Ol' Elron could've made sure a burlap bag was in place of the soft, warm blanket or perhaps some nice tin foil?

The signs say it all. If you're crazy, you should always keep signs about just to let neighbors, paparazzi or whoever else may be stalking you to stand, very far, AT BAY. Thanks to TomKat for their generosity. Warning the world so blatantly of their schizophrenic-like behavior is always good for us, NEVER good for them. How Comforting! I feel like a naked newborn, in a soft, warm blanket!